Here's the thing...

Here's the thing. I just don't think I'll ever really understand people's love affair with things, like babies and the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. Objectively, I fully understand that there are things, and I legitimately comprehend that their are people, and I know that the latter can often be quite fond of the former, but beyond this purely objective analysis, I'm afraid I'll otherwise never understand. But nevertheless, people like things, and that's a fact.

There are other facts too, like the sky is blue, or Shakespeare is boring, or that I'm hungry. And there are some facts that you would never guess or believe in a million years, but guess what--they're true too! Like antelopes. You probably thought they were just made up, but they're not--even if science denies the remotest possibility of their existence.

The truth is that there's lots of stuff in this big crazy world, and the people that comprise your friends and neighbors probably really like a lot of it. But I just don't think man will ever know why. Except for Chee-tohs, because, oh man, I know why people like those--I can feel it in my heart (and my stomach! HA!). (Because they taste good.)

Tequilla Suicide

Let me tell you a little story. This is a story of the greatest shot in the world. The name of this shot is the Tequilla Suicide.

Illustrated instructions:

You'll need salt, a tequilla shot, a slice of lemon, and very little shame. Here is how it goes.

1. Buy a round of tequilla shots.


Get ready for fun.


2. Put some salt on your wrist; raise your fists, and decide to what you wish to drink.


Let's drink to general stupidity.


3. Snort the salt.


It enters the body through the nose.


4. Drink the shot.


I love it.


5. Squirt some lemon in your eye.


Pure Joy.




I've enjoyed sharing this with you.

-Chris

COMMENT!

Listen people:

It was recently brought to my attention that anonymous comments were not being permitted on my blog. Well that's all about to change IN A BIG WAY. Mostly, they are allowed now. So use this freely given PRIVILEGE and voice your choice. Rock the vote.

The Sherman Antitrust Act...

...should have been called out against me, as I dominated my first game of Monopoly at the Wargrave (the pub down the street). That's another thing: I love the fact that we can go to the pub, buy a beer, and play Monopoly. I was with Jack, Austin, and Greg, all flatmates, and all-around good guys.

So basically, when I spent all of my money to control Park Lane and Mayfair (Park and Boardwalk to the Americans in the audience) I collected some serious bank, when those who were unlucky enough to land on my hotels paid me £2000. Best investment I've ever made.

I realize that is what I'll miss about London. Not the opportunities to go see big touristy places but the ability to go to the pub down on the corner and sing karaoke and get wrecked, if I were so disposed. London is great.

I bought one of those zip up "England" jackets. Good stuff. One day when I get back, I'm going to go full-out Euro for the amusement of those around me. I'm talking slicked hair, white shoes, tight pants, pinstriped sportcoat, fashion shirt, the works. Hey, it will be a fun time.

Listen to Aqualung and the Arcade Fire.

Then go away.

As of late

Been up to many things.

1. On Thursday, I went to Hampstead Heath, which is a very large, very woodsy area in zone 2 and 3 (London tube zones). It was nice, honestly, I expected more gardens, but I was not at all disappointed with the rolling hills and the woodland paths. It reminded me of a little known film, affectionately called "Kick Satan in the Groin," or KSG for short. It too was filmed in similar woods; my trip made me long for the innocent days of youth, but not Walchuk kicking me in the balls for the sake of realism.

I was with Elise and Rachelle, and we sat on a little isthmus that went into a pond and had lunch. I had brought McVitie's tea biscuits and a block of mature cheddar--the best kind. Elise recited a poem from Shelley, which was a beautiful moment that we all shared.

I came back and took Lesley out to dinner at an Italian restaurant on James Street. It was nice, and less expensive than I had expected, which is another feather in my cap...feather in my cap.

2. The next day was Friday. Playing Shakespeare class with Tom Cornford, our director. Cornford. While I had memorized my lines pretty well, I still had some trouble realizing the director's vision of the character of Henry V. The speech is somewhat of a yeller, and is otherwise puncuated by a certain seething anger. Intense.

That night we went down the street to the Duke of York, where Karaoke was in full swing. I did the song "Don't Stop Me Now," by Queen. I did pretty well in my estimation. Mike (Quisao) was on backup vocals, which hey, I thought was nice of him.

3. I've been told that you should only boil cold water, not fill the pot with warm or hot water from which to begin boiling. I think this is a total crock o' shit, and a complete old wives' tale. If anyone knows why this is, let me know.

4. Saturday I did nothing all day, except watch Batman with Michael Keaton, which I still stand by as the strangest casting choice ever. I took a walk around Kensington Gardens in the afternoon, which was just super fantastic, then made my way back to have a fine meal with Chris Wong. Later that night we all played Family, which is a great parlour game, and then we finished off with Scrabble, where I insisted Laundryvent was a word. Woodopen should be a word too; example: "I woodopen the door if I had a hand. Thanks for bringing that up, jerk." But they woodhave none of it.

Afterwards, I chatted with Dan Smith about videogames, which makes me a little excited to get back and finish some, namely Prince of Persia 2 as well as Metroid Prime: Echoes. Highly recommend both of them.

Today is Sunday, and Kevin's (hot) sister is visiting. The plan is to go to Camden Market and buy "Magic Mushrooms," then to stare at the back of our hands for about 3 to 5 hours. Trippy.

Bye everybody!