Here's the thing...

Here's the thing. I just don't think I'll ever really understand people's love affair with things, like babies and the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. Objectively, I fully understand that there are things, and I legitimately comprehend that their are people, and I know that the latter can often be quite fond of the former, but beyond this purely objective analysis, I'm afraid I'll otherwise never understand. But nevertheless, people like things, and that's a fact.

There are other facts too, like the sky is blue, or Shakespeare is boring, or that I'm hungry. And there are some facts that you would never guess or believe in a million years, but guess what--they're true too! Like antelopes. You probably thought they were just made up, but they're not--even if science denies the remotest possibility of their existence.

The truth is that there's lots of stuff in this big crazy world, and the people that comprise your friends and neighbors probably really like a lot of it. But I just don't think man will ever know why. Except for Chee-tohs, because, oh man, I know why people like those--I can feel it in my heart (and my stomach! HA!). (Because they taste good.)