Oh Jeez.

Click on the "oh jeez" above.

Christmas

What I got for Christmas:

1. Chronicles of Narnia in a single volume
2. Posable rubber E.T. figure
3. Peppermint Bark
4. Someone's two front teeth
5. Everything I ever wanted from life
6. Red Ryder Ranger Model Cock-Action BB Gun
7. A bluetooth headset for my cell phone, because that's cool, right?
8. A job
9. This lousy t-shirt
10. Receipts. Luckily.

Click on this title for a funny thing I found

Seriously, just click on the title.

Anyway though, I have a rant. I don't normally do this, so I'll make it quick.

I saw that the numbers for King Kong came in for its opening weekend, and it was something like $50 million. Now this was lower than box-office starved (Business class instead of First class) Hollywood would have liked--estimates had put it at around $60 million or more. And yet, when I heard about this movie coming out, I think that my lack of any type of physical or mental reaction was a fair one. Don't forget, this is now the second time King Kong has been remade. Hollywood is disappointed and confused by the lack of performance from Lord of the Rings' Peter Jackson's follow-up picture, but I don't give a crap. They're looking for the next big thing to raise theater attendance, and their best idea is another remake? Of a movie that's been around for what, 231 years?

Screw you, Hollywood.

Now I admit, I just saw the flick, and I liked it. Great CGI, exciting, all that. But still, I knew what was going to happen. It felt new, but not really new. Remake new. Psshaw.

But anyway, whatever. The important thing is that you click on the link in the title. I don't really care if you see King Kong or not.

Papa's got a brand new bag

And by that, I mean a new job offer. Wowzers. JPMorgan's Private Placement offered me money to apparently come in everyday to their office and do stuff for them, which is cool. You may remember, O Constant Reader, that I had another offer to be considered as well, with LaSalle Bank, also in Chicago. They were kind enough to extend their offer one week, so that I could interview with another firm, get a better offer, and screw them.

Oh man, I feel kind of bad. Maybe if I buy myself a jet pack with my signing bonus, I'll feel better.

*NOTE*
After sleeping on this entry, I realize that I sound like a huge pretentious jerk in it. This realization did not require that I remove this post, but only that I note the recognition of my snobbery. That is all.

Seriously.

This has been a very very unproductive study week. Seriously.

Poetry

"Nocturnal Pleasure"
By Meatloaf

The entire city is burning.
You can see the flames like the inside of a mad jukebox.
Lost boys stalk the streets with those jungle markings on their chests.
Barbarians prowl in shadows, their heads rocking with rodents.
Motorcycles reproduce in nocturnal alleys, groaning with greasy pleasure.
And they've blown up the YWCA like a giant baloon, and sent it out to sea
Full of screaming
Lovely
Lonely
Girls.

Listen up stalkers...

I know when you read this blog. I just do. I know who you are and when you read it and how many times you've read it. And to show that I know, Lesley Greene has eclipsed Jess Fishwick as the number 1 reader. Jess, who has only read it 24 times, has now been passed by Lesley, who has read it 26 times. Congratulations, L Greene, you won.

This is how urban legends start

Ok.

So remember the b'scuse me story? The heavyset black woman goes into KFC and orders a bucket a chicken. The cashier asks her if she wants for there or to go and she goes, "B'SCUSE ME? You think I can eat this whole bucket of chicken mySELF?!" To which the cashier replies "Bitch I don't know yo' life!!!"

Now, that's an awesome story. It actually happened to a friend of my friend Michelle Jeffers, back in Chicago.

So it was weird when my roommate Kevin's brother tells him that his roommate at Albion College told him the same story, claiming it had happened to his friends in Detroit.

What?

We don't know what's going on. In my mind, someone is lying. I have been told, though, that this story is really getting around. People love it, and rightfully so. But is it getting around that much?

Listen, if you've ever heard this story, and not from me or my blog, or Michelle Jeffers or Kevin, let me know.

Weird.

The beginning of the beginning of the end

So I got a job.

Which means I'll probably be working at LaSalle Bank in Chicago.

It should be good.

Until then, I have many grand intentions of rocking out the senior year, IYKWIM.

1. Super Scavenger Hunt
2. Further subterranean exploration
3. Climb Stepan Center
4. Kiss a girl
5. Potentially do a sweet prank that's so sweet our heads would explode if I knew what I was talking about
6. Just hang out with my buds! LOL!!!!!1!!!1
7. This is the seventh item
8. Change the name of this blog 20 or 30 more times
9. Put up many more very large pictures of people's heads
10. Make a to-do list (CHECK)

If you're interested in any of the above, so what.

This is about me, not you.