Moonwalk

Fourth O'July weekend is upon us, and for some stupid reason, this means that we have decided to rent a giant dinosaur moonwalk for the backyard. Now please, don't misunderstand me. The moonwalk is fun, and I have spent a significant portion of time tackling kids half my height, weight, and age with glee. What sucks is that the thing, deflated, weighs about two hundred pounds and is a mother pain in the ass. How did Route 12 Rental advise me in terms of safe and responsible use? Well, nothing, until I asked. "How many people can this thing hold?" "Hmm...I don't know really, I would think..." "I guess within reason?" "Yeah, right, you know, keep it within a reasonable number." But I wasn't really listening anyway, because I was thinking how the hell I would lift this thing out of the back of the car when it took a goshdarn forklift to get it in not kidding.

Ok, but once we did get it set up, with four people working on it, it was pretty fun to destroy the neighborhood kids in just about anything. The game I played was called "no one is allowed to stand up (or even sit up) when I'm in this thing," and this rule was enforced with swift retribution. Safety precautions shmaftey precautions.

Not much else going on. I don't know who is reading this now, but whoever it is, hey, and thanks for coming.