What Chris did the last week

Chris recently returned from a week-long trip to the western edge of eastern Europe, and boy was it crazy. The following is a summary of the most important points of interest. It's super interesting, and by that, I mean really long. But who cares. I'll tell you who: not Chris--he doesn't live his life so that you'll be entertained. Now keep reading.

DAY 1: We left London to travel by bus to Stansted airport. My dad would be interested to learn that we were four hours early for our flight, although I'm sure Dad would say that four hours early is actually three hours late. With my travelling partners Ryan Hackett, John Miller, and Will Kurtz, we boarded a discount airline for Munich, in Germany (or Bavaria, as that particular area is called.) We landed, and after too many conversations that started with "Wow! I can't believe we're in Germany!" our group made its way to the hostel a little outside the main area of Munich. Because of a booking snafu, we shared a room with 8 other people, one of whom was (most likely) a Russian mob enforcer. Ryan stole his bed, and Klausen didn't like it.

DAY 2: We got up at 0600, as Ryan, who just joined ROTC, insisted upon calling 6 o'clock. Such an ungodly early rising was necessitated by our very early bus tour that took us out to two palaces in the German Alps: Palace Idon'tremember and Castle Neuschwanstein, or something. The first one was very Roccoco, and so that means that the decorators took paintbrushes dipped in gold paint, went into a room, and just whipped it around until the walls were covered in looping paterns of leaves and such. A little over the top, but still shiny, and I like that. The other castle was the one that Walt Disney based the castle in Disneyland on. That night we made it back and went straight to Hofbrauhaus, which is the famous beer hall in Munich, and although they won't tell you in the history on the menu, the Nazis also got their start there. Hitler really liked their dark beer.

DAY 3: We got up and went to mass with some other kids: Molly, Mike, Amanda, and Margaret. They got a private room in the same hostel, of which I was murderously jealous. After mass, Will and Ryan split off to go to Dachau, which was a concentration camp. Apparently, once you get within 25 miles or so of the camp, there is a line that you cross, beyond which, fun and smiling is outlawed. It's a no-joke radius, with Dachau in the center. Don't laugh, you jerk. Anyway, back in Munich, my group and myself went to the Residenz, which is the palace in Munich. I saw some cool stuff there, although most of the palace was destroyed in some war that took place like 6o years ago. I didn't catch the name of that one. Next we went to the art museums, and I went through all three: the Old, New, and Modern. I'm a museum demon. That night we went to the Augustiner, which is another beer hall, and it was pretty authentic. Sausages consumed by this point: 5.

DAY 4: Got up, had breakfast, and went to the train station, to board a train to Salzburg. We got to Salzburg, put our stuff in lockers at the station, then began to explore. Salzburg was alright; saw a lot of churches and giant fortresses, but not much else. We spent our last few hours in a legitmate Austrian restaurant Salzburg(er King). I ate a great meat sandwich and sliced potatoes. Then we got on the train to Vienna, which was cool. Got into Vienna and navigated to our hostel, Wombats, which in my opinion, tried a little to hard to be "cool." It was the kind of place that would use the letter Z instead of S, like instead of kids, it would be kidz. Because that's hip to the max. Still, it was the best hostel we stayed at.

DAY 5: Got up with grand plans of taking Vienna by storm. Then Ryan got hit by a tram and we had to call it a day. Just kidding--that's just a fantasy I had. We walked around Vienna, and it was very nice: we saw the Lippizaner horses in their morning workout, then we went to St. Stephan's Cathedral, and paid 3 Euro to climb 300 steps to the gift shop. Also, it had some views of the city, but clearly the gift shop was the focus. Then we went to St. Charles Church, or Karlskirche as it's called there, and went inside for some more money. This time it was worth it--we were able to climb up into the grand domed ceiling, since it was being restored, and the scafolding was all up. That was awesome. Then we went back to the hostel, where we again met up with the group from Munich, who was just getting into Wombats. We went out to dinner with them, where I ate Wienerschnitzel. It was pretty good.

DAY 6: Probably the best day of our trip: we went to the Natural History Museum, then to Cafe Central, and then finished off with Aida at the State Opera House. In the cafe I had authentic Viennese coffee in the most famous cafe in the city, and at the Opera I had great seats to a great show, and I learned just how much I hate Opera. We went back to the same place for dinner that we had been to the previous night, and again, more Wienerschnitzel. No complaints about that, though.

DAY 7: Trekked to Vienna's other train station, locked up our bags, and tried to go to some war museum and arsenal. We couldn't get inside, and went around to another entrance, where we learned that it wasn't so much a display arsenal as it was an actual arsenal. That's what the guy with the Uzi at the gate seemed to imply. So we just went back to the train station and got on our train to Prague, or Praha, in the Czech Republic. The train ride wasn't bad, although not scenic at all. We got off in Prague, in a country whose language we didn't speak, although this time, the language wasn't even close to ours. For example: Karluv Most=St. Charles Bridge. Whichawhat? Anyway, we found our hostel, which was initially shady, and then ok, especially since we had a private room. We decided after we had unpacked to go out to dinner, and asked for a good Czech place. The restaurant was good--very good, in fact. Three of us shared a giant tray of meat: duck, ribs, pork roast, and dumplings and potatoes. When I saw it in the waiter's hands, I cried a little; it was so beautiful a meal. We went back to the hostel, tired and glistening from the fat that was probably oozing out our skin, and fell asleep before 10.

DAY 8: We spent a bunch of time on the famous St. Charles Bridge, where scenes from Mission Impossible were filmed. Then we trekked up to the Cathedral and another palace. John and I didn't pay to go in, but Will and Ryan did. Instead, John and I walked to a far park up on a hill, for another spectacular view. Then we sat by one end of the bridge, and took pictures for tourists. We met back up with the other two four hours after we had left them, and went back to the hostel, where we all took naps. We got up later to eat at an Italian place, and then walk around more. We saw Wenceslas square, which is like the Times Square of Prague, replete with porn dealers, which was fantastic. Then we made it back to the hostel, where we migrated to the bar on the third floor, and where I tried Absinthe for the first time. It was gross--like Jagermeister, which I hate, but even more black licoricey. Although it's cool to mix in a burning spoonful of sugar, even if it's just for effect. We went to bed around 1, I think.

DAY 9: The final day was spent walking around Prague, all the while wishing the trip was already over, because it was long, and we all hated each other. We had to kill about 8 hours, but in the end we caved and went to the airport early--about 6.5 hours early. Whatever, there were other kids there, and I learned how to play Euchre. Got on the plane at 8:30 London time. It was a quick flight, and we were back at the flats by 12:30.

Today: I haven't done anything good today, except go to mass at 11:30 and make a good pasta lunch. Then I just spent way too much time writing this travel summary, which you've actually read through. Thanks. I feel special.

Somehow I have to figure out how to put pictures on this thing, so I can illustrate my wondrous tales. Until then, I'll let my words color your imagination. How poetic.

Go away.